CDC Says Cyclospora Outbreak Has Reached 45 States

Diarrhea is popping off all across the nation. What began as a small but concerning issue localized in states like Michigan, where folks were hit the hardest, has now spread to 45 states.

The CDC says that since May 1, it has received 6,707 lab-confirmed domestic cases of cyclosporiasis and is aware of more than 11,500 additional cases that have not yet been lab-confirmed or require further investigation. Combined, that’s over 18,000 confirmed or suspected cases of people planning emergency escape routes to the nearest bathroom across the nation.

No deaths have been reported, though hundreds of the afflicted have been hospitalized.

The Cyclospora Outbreak Is Bigger and Messier Than Officials First Thought

Investigators are still trying to track down the exact source of it all. You’re probably well aware by now that the initial culprit was shredded iceberg lettuce supplied by Taylor Farms to Taco Bell after an FDA test, but that was later proven to be a false positive. Taylor Farms is still voluntarily recalling its lettuce, and now the folks in charge are blaming multiple contaminated foods, from lettuce to cilantro to parsley.

Meanwhile, The Washington Post reports that Taco Bell executives say that customers are already returning to its restaurants, proving once and for all that the siren song of Taco Bell is simply too powerful. Not even the mast Odysseus had his crew tie him to could hold us back when the Bell tolls.

For now, health officials say you should be washing your produce, or better yet, thoroughly cooking it before eating. Till all this blows over, I’ll be keeping myself occupied by doing the same thing I have been since this whole outbreak began: singing the word “Cyclospora” to the tune of Slipknot’s “Psychosocial.”