Nigerian Surrogate Mother Reveals Emotional Struggles Behind Her Decision

(A surrogate mother. Photo Credit: Punch News)

A masked Nigerian surrogate mother has opened up about how financial hardship and what she described as an irresponsible partner led her into surrogacy, revealing that the decision followed the loss of her second child.

The woman shared her story during an episode of an online interview published on Sunday, where she spoke about the emotional, financial, and psychological realities of carrying children for other families.

She described becoming a surrogate as one of the hardest decisions she had ever made, explaining that emotional attachment naturally develops during pregnancy even when a woman knows the child does not belong to her.

She recalled that even at three months into her first surrogacy journey, she called her nurse to express doubts about coping, admitting that it isn’t easy to carry a pregnancy that isn’t yours.

She said she constantly reminds herself that the child is not hers and treats the experience as a job in order to cope, though the emotions still come and go.

She explained that she became a gestational surrogate through IVF, meaning she had no biological connection to the babies she carried.

Speaking on what led her into surrogacy, she said her partner failed to provide adequately for the family despite her own efforts to support them financially.

She explained that after having her first child, her husband was not hardworking and did not take responsibility, even though she herself worked in various capacities.

She said that when she became pregnant a second time, she could no longer work, and the family could not even afford hospital bills.

She disclosed that complications during that pregnancy eventually led to the death of the baby, an experience that changed her outlook on life.

She said the loss of that child was what pushed her toward the decision, explaining that rather than bringing another child into hardship, she would rather help people who had the financial means to take care of her, adding that she would not go through the process for anyone unable to cater to her health needs.

She revealed that she initially declined additional financial compensation beyond medical care, accommodation, and allowances, a decision she now says was a mistake and would not repeat.

The surrogate mother also said she would not encourage her own daughter to walk the same path, citing the emotional and health risks involved.

She added that she relocated during one of her pregnancies to avoid stigma, often telling people the baby had died whenever questioned about it.

According to her, surrogate mothers also grapple with psychological challenges after delivery, despite undergoing counselling both before and after childbirth.

While acknowledging that surrogacy has helped many couples struggling with infertility, she maintained that the process is far more demanding than many people realise, stressing that surrogacy is not as simple as people assume.

She called for stronger regulation of the practice to protect surrogate mothers from exploitation and to ensure they receive adequate emotional and financial support throughout the process.

Surrogate mother opens up on her emotional struggles during pregnancy

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