David Lynch Once Wrote a Body-Swap Comedy for Steve Martin, and It Sounds Completely Insane

At some point in the 1980s, Eraserhead director David Lynch wrote a script for a bizarre body-swap comedy with his future Twin Peaks collaborator Mark Frost. Entitled One Saliva Bubble, the proposed movie was intended as a vehicle for Steve Martin and Martin Short. Though Martin later claimed that he didn’t remember Short being involved, Short insisted in a recent interview that they were supposed to star in it together—which is backed up by news reports from the time.

Whatever the case may be, Martin recalled the script being “masterful.” 

In the years since it was first written, the screenplay has made its way online, and it’s every bit as wild as you’d expect a David Lynch movie with a name like that to be. The story centers around a group of people at a fictional Kansas airport who accidentally get hit by a ray from a satellite dish in space, causing them all to switch identities.

For example, a troupe of Chinese acrobats suddenly trades places with a bunch of Texans from the Heinz ketchup company. In one particularly memorable gag, the Texans unsuccessfully try to form a human pyramid that comes crashing down when a couple of them fart in the process.

David Lynch’s Wildest Unmade Movie Was a Steve Martin Comedy Called ‘One Saliva Bubble’

In case you’re wondering what sparked all of this chaos in the first place, the titular saliva bubble is the culprit. In the beginning of the script, idiotic security guards at a top-secret military base are keeping themselves amused with childish jokes while a group of scientists examines a large computer panel nearby. The idea of a woman saying the words “poo-poo on your pee-pee” is enough to make one of the guards laugh so hard that a glob of spit goes flying in the direction of the electronics. This creates a short circuit in the system that ultimately leads to the aforementioned satellite dish malfunctioning.

If you can believe it, One Saliva Bubble actually came very close to being made. According to Frost, they were only about six weeks away from the movie going into production when things came to a screeching halt. As it turns out, Dino De Laurentiis’s production company, which was responsible for such films as Manhunter, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, and Lynch’s own Blue Velvet, was planning to distribute it. However, after a number of delays, De Laurentiis revealed that he was bankrupt, and the movie never saw the light of day.