Is deeper really better in sex?

It was an eye-opener for me at a sex seminar I attended recently. The women in the room were asked to take an informal poll on shallow versus deep penetration, and the results were telling.

Only a third chose deep penetration as their preference, while the clear majority said they preferred a combination of both.

It really made me reflect on the assumptions many men have, that deeper is always better.

Sex is so much more than technique and it’s not a one size fits all

When people talk about penetration during sex, they often focus on depth—how far penetration goes and what kind of sensation that creates. But penetration depth is only one part of sexual pleasure. What feels pleasurable varies greatly from person to person.

What is deep penetration?

Deep penetration refers to penetration that goes farther into the vagina, approaching the deeper part of the vaginal canal and potentially the area near the cervix.

The sensation can be described as:

A feeling of fullness or pressure.

Deeper internal stimulation.

A sensation that changes depending on the angle and sexual position.

More noticeable pressure against deeper vaginal structures.

However, deep penetration isn’t automatically more pleasurable. For some people, it can feel intensely pleasurable, while for others it may feel uncomfortable or painful.

Factors such as arousal, lubrication, anatomy, position, angle, and the individual’s sensitivity can significantly influence the experience.

What is shallow penetration?

Shallow penetration means penetration that remains primarily in the outer or lower portion of the vagina rather than going deeply inside.

This can provide more stimulation around the vaginal entrance, an area that can be highly sensitive.

Some people prefer shallow penetration because it can provide:

Greater control over depth.

A feeling of gentler pressure.

More stimulation around the vaginal opening.

Easier combination with clitoral stimulation.

Less likelihood of discomfort from deep pressure.

Shallow penetration shouldn’t be mistaken for “less satisfying.” Depth does not determine the quality of sexual pleasure.

So, which is better?